One of my favorite things to do while I’m waiting in line or for an appointment is to look through the 2,170 photos saved to my phone. I know it’s using a lot of memory, but as I scroll through, I sometimes laugh out loud remembering the events that took place leading up to the photo. Other photos bring me peace or help me feel closer to my children who are both now living on their own in different cities. One thing is for sure--My photos have helped me reflect on my life and make positive changes for the future.
1. Someone has to take charge!
This photo accurately describes my role in this family, which is to keep everyone organized and moving forward (even the dog). My husband Lester was a career Navy man and for 30 years, served this great country. The boys and I were and continue to be so proud of him, but his service required him to travel and work long hours. Some duty stations were more demanding than others, but overall, I knew he would be there to help me when he could. Unfortunately, there were times when the boys and I needed help when he was unable to be there. It was in those moments I took charge and did what I needed to do. The one regret I have is that I didn’t do a better job taking care of me. When Lester was around, I should have taken a weekend to myself to sleep in, get a massage, or take a yoga class. Often, when he was home we did family things. I’m not saying I regret spending time with my family. What I’m saying is it’s okay to leave Dad in charge of the house and kids for a weekend and take some time to indulge yourself. This is the whole premise behind Awaken retreats. Let someone take care of you so you can refill your cup and continue doing all the things required for your family. Take charge of your wellbeing!
2. Be accepting.
This photo reminds me I need to support my children’s decisions to go their own way--even if it means I end up with a Vikings fan! My husband always accuses me of trying to brainwash my children into thinking like me. If it were that easy I would have no grey hair. My children are truly amazing but far from perfect. They need to make mistakes in order to learn. One of the hardest things for me as a parent is to sit back and do nothing knowing my kids are headed toward failure. As a society, we have tried to shield our children from far too many things. Kids need to fail in order to learn and find their way. My kids know I’m always here for them and will help them if they ask for it, but for now they need to figure it out!! They know I may not always like the choices they make, but I will accept their choices.
3. Always remember your roots and how you became who you are.
Very few people can say their childhood was perfect. Like many families my parents struggled financially, but my siblings and I never went without. My parents taught us how to support each other. I know how cliche it sounds to say we are always here for each other, but time and time again this cliche has been tested. Through deaths, illnesses, and everyday struggles we have provided for each other. I feel growing up this way allowed me to take risks and try new things. If things didn’t work out for me, I knew my family had my back! My hope is that my boys, nieces, and nephews have the same bond with each other and their cousins that I’ve had with mine.
The awkward moments are the ones that help build the lasting bonds in life. However, every now and again, the planets align, everyone is looking at the camera at the same time, and for that one moment…….magic!